Do you ever have that feeling that you’re only just skimming the surface? At a work meeting this week I totally felt like my understanding of the discussion just wasn’t deep enough. It didn’t help that I’d left my glasses at home so I couldn’t see the screen clearly, but even so, my brain doesn’t seem capable of the next stretch of comprehension and analysis. It’s slightly worrying as it is supposed to be my area of specialty and while I understand the concepts, can apply them appropriately, that nitty gritty detail isn’t truly there.
I think part of it may be I’ve always been in the school of ‘near enough is good enough’ and have figured that was sufficient. Now with a busier life and less time to concentrate on any one thing, things take a lot longer to sink in, and a lot longer to get done and I don’t have the time to bury myself in one task.
My personality is fairly measured, no big fluctuations in joy or sorrow and I’ve never felt a burning passion for anything. I’m happy being ordinary and I think it’s important to realise that there are millions of ordinary people around just living their lives. Very few of us actually excel beyond that and I’m totally fine with it and will tell my kids that it’s ok to be middle of the road if that is your version of your best.
I guess I should remind myself that with small kids and a busy life I’m not going to understand it all. Hopefully a bit of clarity will come with time.
What things do you find you skim over?